Cake topper by Enchanted You
ONE GOLFING WIFE and husband had this to say about why their marriage had lasted 50 years: “We never play golf together.”
It turns out that early in their marriage, the husband, an accomplished player, suggested he accompany the less expert wife for a leisurely afternoon nine at the club. How nice, she thought. Then she saw that he was playing with only one club, his putter. And as the wife hit driver off the tee, 3-wood in the fairway, and iron or wedge into the green, the husband simply putted along by her side, attempting to match each shot with his putter — often succeeding.
“I probably shouldn’t have done that,” he said years later.
She never played golf with him again.
Surely that wasn’t the husband’s intention, was it? If so, that sets a mighty creative precedent for men looking for ways to make sure their wives never play golf with them. Guys, it really doesn’t have to be that complicated.
HERE ARE SEVEN EVERYDAY STRATEGIES FOR MEN WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE BOTHERED BY THEIR WOMEN ON THE GOLF COURSE.
- If you play a longer tee, when playing golf with a woman always tee off first and then be sure to drive right by whichever tees she is playing. Don’t stop until she objects, then sigh heavily and put the cart in reverse.
- Flag down the cart girl whenever she comes by and chat her up, preferably when your wife is on the tee.
- Tell your wife to put sunscreen on so she doesn’t get any more wrinkles.
- Notice she always wears long shorts, so give her a short skort.
- Whenever you are playing golf with a woman and you arrive at a restroom on the course, drive right by and urinate on the next bush or tree you find.
- When playing golf with a woman, never, ever tell her, “Nice shot.”
- And if all else fails, just pretend she’s not there. Pretty soon, she won’t be!
More ideas welcome, GottaGoGolfers.
Always a mystery to me that I am at fault for making a noise or moving when my husband makes a bad shot. Have your excuse before you make a swing, lol.
Men, make sure your golf date turns into a golf lesson. There is nothing more frustrating and more of a turn-off than to be told what you have done wrong on every swing. Women never advise unless asked.
Good point Rene! Yesterday we made the mistake of pointing out to a man hunting for his ball in a hazard with green-tipped stakes that we weren’t supposed to go in those environmentally protected areas. His look back shot daggers. He knew exactly what he was doing and did not care.
We are both much better golfers not playing with each other.
When we were first married my husband was a really good tennis player. I tried the game, but found it didn’t work for us. Golf allowed me to play my ball, him to play his. Now our handicaps are only a point apart and we play a lot of golf together. Of course I always say he considers it a Pro-Am and I am the Am.
Always suggest the right club to play, based on your own clubs.
😉